So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
