I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
