I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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