Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
