so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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