I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my being single is dangerous.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize