I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
