Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
