i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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