her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
