Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
