Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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