Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
