i think my mom watched the whole time
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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