I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
