It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
