FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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