I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
