Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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