There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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