Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
