all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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