Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
