hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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