Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
