it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
