if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
dude. I can hear the air.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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