I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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