we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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