guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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