i think my mom watched the whole time
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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