WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
