just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize