I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
