Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
