What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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