a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Boobs are out for the taking
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize