sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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