the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize