Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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