I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize