my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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