we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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