I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
