my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
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she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
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I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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