I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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