I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize