So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
