I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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