You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
