Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
