apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize