I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
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Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
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Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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