dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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