I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize