The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
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