Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
