oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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