even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
