What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
