what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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