I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
