Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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